The Body Coach & Body Positivity

Good day my lovely readers – Georgia, here. (If you’re new here, Sulky Bitch has a team of writers)

I recently signed up to The Body Coach 90 Day SSS Plan along with my co-blogger, Anna. I’ve also been preaching self-acceptance and body confidence for the past year or so, as learning to accept myself for who I am completely changed my life for the better. I want to talk about how the plan is going (I don’t know if it’s going to work or if I’m going to hate it) on Twitter and on here so I just wanted to do a little intro to the plan, and to a couple of the reasons I’m doing it.

I am a size 16-18 at the moment, I weigh just over 13.5 stone (I’m probably the biggest I’ve been at the moment, bar when I broke my leg and turned into a blimp-woman) and at 5’7″ that puts me in the overweight category (though we all know BMI isn’t as trustworthy as once believed.)

Capture

However, I’m also the happiest I’ve ever been with my body. I used to hate it. I used to hate myself and my body. But then I realised about 18 months ago – this is the only one I have. It does everything for me, it keeps me alive, it takes me awesome places. It’s flawed sure, but when I look in the mirror, I don’t see a fat person who needs to change. I see a bad ass who is doing what she loves in life. I’m not deluded – I have rolls and bumps that aren’t classified as ‘perfect’ by any stretch of the imagination – but I have accepted them. I don’t let them define me as a person or affect how I perceive myself or the world, or how I act around others. I don’t obsess over it, rant about it, cry because of it. I’m also aware that it’s down to my own habit of enjoying food and wine far too much, and perhaps not moving as much as I should.

And lately, I’ve indulged a LOT. I’m busy with work, screenings, interviews, writing, band practice, gigs and keeping my house from looking like a shit hole, and so when I have a spare moment I’ll go out for drinks or dinner – or I’ll order a pizza and just relax for a few hours. I know that this is unhealthy.

I used to be the kind of person who would crash diet. I tried all the fads, including something called the ‘soup diet’, slimming world (which actually, was pretty great), paleo (utter bullshit) and all sorts. Diets that are healthy, and that yo-yo, and end up with me getting bored and getting unhealthy again.

So I feel really positive about this decision. Because it’s not being forced by negativity, like my previous ‘diets’ have been. It’s coming from a pretty relaxed and positive place. And I feel like forking out the gut-wrenching £147 to sign up and being given a personal tailored long-term plan is the kick up the ass I need to get going. I don’t want to feel sluggish, to avoid the stairs where possible. I don’t want to sweat or to get chubrub when I go to the beach.

And on a slight side note, I also have PCOS, a condition that is exacerbated by a person’s weight, so whilst my case of it is pretty mild, I’m hoping it makes me a little more ‘regular’.

I’m on my way, hopefully, to just becoming a healthier person. ( I’m also a runner, though I am in hibernation due to hating running when it’s hot. So hopefully this’ll get me back on the pavement, too.)

So on that note…I start on Monday. I may or may not be treating this week as one last hurrah, by eating EVERYTHING. Who knows for sure. Wish me luck! And I’ll be done in time for Christmas cake 😉

And yes, I will be having cheat days, or I’ll go insane 😛

Side note. If you are bigger, and you feel fucking great – YOU LOOK FUCKING GREAT, YOU DON’T GOTTA DO ANYTHING UNLESS YOU WANT TO, OKAY?

And for reference, here’s some pictures of me now:

13 things I wish someone had told me when I was 13

By Hannah Bundock

Puberty isn’t an easy time to be a girl. Hair starts growing in annoying places, the arrival of spots mean that you’re experimenting (usually unsuccessfully) with make-up and you suddenly have a ton of emotions that you just can’t deal with. Yep, being a teenager can suck, so here are a few things to help you out on your journey to womanhood. Things I really wished I’d known…

Never dry shave

armpit

And especially never dry shave and then put on deodorant! You may as well rub stinging nettles under your armpits. It hurts! There is always time to do a proper wet shave. Always!

Never shave an unconventional place

eyebrows

You won’t be the first ill-informed youth to think it’s a great idea to shave your arms, stomach or eyebrows…it’s not. There is a reason it hasn’t caught on. As too many of us know, once you shave one of these areas the hair never grows back the same. It grows through thick dark and furiously, so much so that you are condemned to a life of plucking evermore. Honestly don’t do it.

Never wear new knickers when you’re due on

pants

It seems obvious but so many of us forget this, even us ‘grown ups’. When you’re due on it’s strictly granny panties. No new underwear, nothing white, just gross old pants. Trust me it’s really irritating when Aunt Flow ruins your favourite pair of pants.

Never use a tampon just because you’re due on

Pulling out a dry tampon like..

Pulling out a dry tampon like..

Another period one, but really they should teach you these things in school! Never use a tampon unless you are actually on your period. When I was young, I made the fatal error of using a tampon just in case I came on in my lesson. Removing a dry tampon is ridiculously painful; genuinely thought I’d pulled out a fallopian tube or something.

You can only use being on your period as an excuse to get out of P.E so many times

pe

Teachers are cleverer than students give them credit. Believe it or not, even the men are aware that periods only come once a month. Therefore you have to use this excuse sparingly.

Never send a love letter to your teacher

anigif_original-1957-1446221635-4

Not something I’ve done personally, but I know people. Sadly your love for Mr Dreamy Eyes the Maths teacher is going to be unrequited.  To him you are his student and worse than that, you are a child. He’s never going to think of you that way. Save yourself an embarrassing day talking about your feelings in the headteachers office and tear up that note!

It’s not a race to lose your virginity

tumblr_ltcp7kpX0n1qaf0h1o1_500

There is no rush to have sex. It doesn’t make you grown up or cool despite what some of your peers may think. Plus when you’re actually an adult, nobody cares. Wait until the right time with the right person. And if he/she isn’t willing to wait, they’re not the right person. Simple as that. Also, the kids in your class talking loudly about their sexual conquests… they’re lying.

An orgasm should feel amazing

 

edNke

So when you do find the right person (and you’re aged 16 or over) and the time is right, sex should feel good. Well, not the first time, that’s usually awkward and a bit painful, but after that. You will know when you have had an orgasm. If you’re not sure, you haven’t had one.

Foundation isn’t always the answer

face

That spot on your face, it isn’t that big. It only looks big because it’s on your face and you’re staring at it in the mirror and therefore you think it’s huge. The rest of us didn’t even notice it. You don’t have to cover up every blemish, it’s good to let your skin breath a bit. But if you do decide to use foundation please, please match it to your skin tone. Having a giant orange face on top of your ghostly white neck is far more noticeable than your tiny zit. Why do they even sell foundation that colour?

Eyeliner is an art

635914474245982042761909495_s6

Eyeliner, especially liquid eyeliner is tricky. It looks so easy to put on, but it’s not. It takes practice, lots of practice. Never try and rush it, because it will inevitably go wrong and don’t try to put liquid eyeliner on your bottom eyelid unless you’ve reached expert level. If not you’ll spend the next 20 minutes trying to fish black globs of make-up out of your eye. If you do successfully apply your eyeliner, be sure to take it off before bed. It’ll only take you 5 mins and it’ll prevent you from looking like a member of Kiss in the morning and from future eye pain. Trust me.

Sneaking alcohol out of the house

tumblr_mkuyuzhaAV1rqh00co1_500

Stealing a small amount of Mum and Dad’s alcohol seems like a clever idea, but it’s not. You will never be brave enough to sneak out enough to even get yourself tipsy whilst sitting in the park with your friends. Plus your Mum will know… Mums know everything.

Don’t aspire to be one of the cool kids

tumblr_m7vxi6i64u1rplijko1_500

I know that they have loads of friends, they wear the right clothes and they always seem to be laughing, but you don’t need to be like those kids. Be yourself, find your own little group of friends and stop trying so hard. In the real world (the adult one) the ‘cool kids’ aren’t any more successful than the rest of us. Plus, the older you get the more you’ll realise that those kids aren’t actually that happy. They fall out amongst themselves all the time and bitchiness is rife. You don’t need that drama.

You’ll be fine

nN6VKtK

It may seem like the world is ending today and that nothing will ever be ok again, but it will. You’ll be fine. Next year you won’t even remember the things that are stressing you out today. A lot of what you are feeling at present are hormones and they eventually settle down.  Hang in there. It does get better.

The A4 Waist Challenge? The Body Shaming Has GOT to Stop.

By Hannah Bundock

Hey, who’s heard about this new crazy trend of measuring yourself?

You hold up a piece of A4 paper in front of your stomach, and the aim is for your waist to be so small that it disappears behind it…How stupid is that?! Apparently it’s mainly taking off in China at the moment, but it’s only a matter of time before people over here start ‘rising to the challenge’ themselves, and I, personally, am dreading it.

Now I’m not going to lecture you all on how unhealthy it is for people to diet and exercise in extreme manners in order to meet this criteria; I’m assuming you lot have enough brain cells to figure that out for yourselves. Instead I want us all to look at the bigger picture, at female body image in general and the way it seems to divide us.

Usually it starts with a new trend, like the one above, thigh gaps or something of a similar nature, and then it develops into shaming of some sort.

The people who don’t have this new ‘desirable feature’ start to feel bad about themselves, or angry at those who are trying to impose this ‘ideal body image’ on them. In turn, these ladies will post things on social media criticising these features. I’ve seen everything from ‘You wouldn’t want a steak that was nothing but bone, why would you want a woman that way?’  ‘Real men like curves, only dogs go for bones’ right up to ‘There is no excuse for being fat.’  Enough is enough.

Most of the pressure we  feel these days is generated by other women. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a man post anything with regards to the weight he prefers his lady to be. Like, EVER! It’s us that seem to want to permanently pass judgement on other women. Why?! Seriously, what are we achieving by doing this? Of course, scrutinising others isn’t new – it’s a way of giving yourself a dirty little ego boost.

Have the confidence to enjoy your own body, and please, let’s stop putting each other down.


But in reality, as long as you are comfortable in your own body it honestly doesn’t matter what weight you are, or anyone else is. I genuinely believe that confidence is the sexiest aspect of any woman. To me, confidence doesn’t look like posting dozen of pictures of yourself to show off your ‘hot bod’, to me that looks like you’re fishing for compliments because you’re secretly insecure. Equally I don’t think confidence is posting insulting memes explaining why your body shape is so much more desirable than someone else’s. Skinny shaming and fat shaming, they are as bad as each other and they need to stop. The war needs to end.

Skinny Siren or Curvy Queen, we can all be beautiful in our own way. Let’s stop bickering among ourselves as to what a woman ‘should’ look like and enjoy the fact that we are all different.  Everyone has a different preference, so no matter what your body shape or style, you will be someone’s perfect 10. Screw it, be your own perfect 10. Who are you trying to impress? Have the confidence to enjoy your own body, and please, let’s stop putting each other down.

I Am Not A Gym Bunny: An Ode to Sitting

By Kelsey Champion

I think we’re in unanimous agreement that sitting down is just darn great. And don’t get me started on how much I enjoy eating. Sadly, sitting and eating don’t often lead to a healthy lifestyle – could you imagine such a world?

I’m comfortable enough to say that I’m a wobbly, curvy, average woman: my BMI is maybe higher than it should be, as is my weekly alcohol intake. I’m not one of those naturally slim people; I’m a naturally greedy one.

Kate Moss once said ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’. Well, clearly Mossy has never had a medium-cooked beef burger with blue cheese, streaky bacon and chipotle mayo in a brioche bun with hand cut skin on fries dusted with sea salt and rosemary washed down with an ice cold beer…… excuse me a moment….

Recently I’ve realised that being a sloth not only has an impact on my waistline, but also on my mental health (that’s a whole other thing – maybe I’ll charm you with that tale another time). So I decided now was the time to get off the sofa and stop inhaling Kettle Chips like they’re going out of fashion – I mean seriously, who are they kidding then they say ‘share’ bag – and join the gym. After a month of going to the gym at least four times a week, do you know what I realised…? It sucks.

There are many words I would use to describe myself but ‘gym bunny’ is most certainly not one of them. I was always put off of the gym because I knew I would never be one of those people who needed to work out five times a week or got a buzz from having a little vein pop out after a heavy lifting session; I thought if I’m not going to like it, why bother? Well, I’ll tell you a secret… you haven’t GOT to like it, just fricking do it.

A regular workout not only has an effect on your body, but I’ve found it greatly beneficial to my mental state too. I have more energy (yeah, I know, weird right?) and a generally more positive outlook. I feel proud of myself and what I have achieved, even if it’s just sliding my butt off the sofa into some Lycra gym pants and a few pumps on a 5kg dumbbell.

I don’t want to say “ooh look at all the weight I lost” but… well… I did alright. I won’t lie and say it was easy because it sure as shit wasn’t; it was hard, stressful, emotional and down-right dull. But as soon as I accepted my fate and just got on with it, turns out it wasn’t actually that bad. I put too much of a mental block on it and made excuses after excuses “oh well I have a long walk tomorrow, that can be my exercise” or “ok I won’t eat these crisps then I can get away with missing the gym”. Sorry love, doesn’t work that way.

Anyway, to summarise: yes, it’s shit, yes sitting down is better, yes cake is heaven, yes I am going to eat the aforementioned burger for dinner, but the point is, if you’re feeling how I was, just give it a go. It’ll be worth it.

Image from https://www.etsy.com/market/bunny_funny 

18 Thoughts Everyone Has During A Bikini Wax

By Anonymous

Thoughts in my head whilst being waxed:

1. This won’t hurt as much as last time right?

2. Is my bush too much? I’m the hairiest person they’ve ever seen. They’re gonna tell their friends about it.

3. OW.

4. Is this even worth it?

5. OWW.

6. I bet my vagina is super wierd. They’re definitely gonna tell their friends about it.

7. I wonder how many vaginas they’ve seen?

8. I wonder how many people have seen my vagina… Yeah, okay, let’s not get into that.

9. I really don’t care about your holiday plans lady, stop trying to distract me with small talk. It’s not working.

10. Oh that’s not so bad. No, wait, I wish I was dead. Killing me would probably hurt less.

11. Why am I doing this again?

12. Ooh that’s hot. I kinda like it.

13. I really hope I don’t fart.

14. Will she judge me if I cry?

15. Oh god, make it stop.

16. Seriously, why do girls go through this? God gave us hair, we should just embrace it, right? RIGHT?

17. Aaaaand it’s over. Thank the lord.

18. I feel so smooth. So smooth. HEY, HEY YOU, LOOK AT MY SEXY BALD FOOF!