I Am Not A Gym Bunny: An Ode to Sitting

By Kelsey Champion

I think we’re in unanimous agreement that sitting down is just darn great. And don’t get me started on how much I enjoy eating. Sadly, sitting and eating don’t often lead to a healthy lifestyle – could you imagine such a world?

I’m comfortable enough to say that I’m a wobbly, curvy, average woman: my BMI is maybe higher than it should be, as is my weekly alcohol intake. I’m not one of those naturally slim people; I’m a naturally greedy one.

Kate Moss once said ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’. Well, clearly Mossy has never had a medium-cooked beef burger with blue cheese, streaky bacon and chipotle mayo in a brioche bun with hand cut skin on fries dusted with sea salt and rosemary washed down with an ice cold beer…… excuse me a moment….

Recently I’ve realised that being a sloth not only has an impact on my waistline, but also on my mental health (that’s a whole other thing – maybe I’ll charm you with that tale another time). So I decided now was the time to get off the sofa and stop inhaling Kettle Chips like they’re going out of fashion – I mean seriously, who are they kidding then they say ‘share’ bag – and join the gym. After a month of going to the gym at least four times a week, do you know what I realised…? It sucks.

There are many words I would use to describe myself but ‘gym bunny’ is most certainly not one of them. I was always put off of the gym because I knew I would never be one of those people who needed to work out five times a week or got a buzz from having a little vein pop out after a heavy lifting session; I thought if I’m not going to like it, why bother? Well, I’ll tell you a secret… you haven’t GOT to like it, just fricking do it.

A regular workout not only has an effect on your body, but I’ve found it greatly beneficial to my mental state too. I have more energy (yeah, I know, weird right?) and a generally more positive outlook. I feel proud of myself and what I have achieved, even if it’s just sliding my butt off the sofa into some Lycra gym pants and a few pumps on a 5kg dumbbell.

I don’t want to say “ooh look at all the weight I lost” but… well… I did alright. I won’t lie and say it was easy because it sure as shit wasn’t; it was hard, stressful, emotional and down-right dull. But as soon as I accepted my fate and just got on with it, turns out it wasn’t actually that bad. I put too much of a mental block on it and made excuses after excuses “oh well I have a long walk tomorrow, that can be my exercise” or “ok I won’t eat these crisps then I can get away with missing the gym”. Sorry love, doesn’t work that way.

Anyway, to summarise: yes, it’s shit, yes sitting down is better, yes cake is heaven, yes I am going to eat the aforementioned burger for dinner, but the point is, if you’re feeling how I was, just give it a go. It’ll be worth it.

Image from https://www.etsy.com/market/bunny_funny 

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